F
Marital Status
Choose which best describes your
current situation. Married and naively believe it will stay that
way. Married but open to an occasional affair. Married and
looking for a replacement before I dump the spouse. Divorced and
disillusioned with the opposite sex. Jerks . . . Divorced and actively
looking for future ex-spouse. Single because of ridiculously high
standards. Recently single, looking for rebound person. Single
by popular demand. Single and frigid.
Children
What are your reproductive plans? Children
are evil. Have children but learned my lesson. No more! Would
like to have children someday, but not with you. Don't want children,
but sloppy with contraception, so it is inevitable. That is something
to worry about when I am old. Due to biology/surgery/sexual preference
I am unable to have children. Thank God. Have children from every
previous marriage, looking for more stepchildren. Actively looking
for womb/sperm. I ain't getting any younger.
Sexual Attitude
What is the closest to your feelings
about sex? Ewwww gross! Sex is for the confines of marriage.
And then only if absolutely necessary. I'll lie here quietly. Tell
me when you are done. It sounds like fun. I'd like to try it someday. I
find masturbation more fulfilling with a partner. Been there, done
that. Let's get some toys and a video camera. I'll try anything,
no matter how sick. All those things that you're willing to try
I've probably already done.
Standards
How picky about partners are you
really? Though I am no prize, I am only interested in Hollywood
hunks/Supermodels. I am a Hollywood hunk/Supermodel. Interested
in money. Not interested in really attractive people. They scare
me. The longer I'm single, the lower my standards. I may get to
your level soon. I'll lead anyone on for the promise of gifts or
sex. If you have the correct sexual organs, let's hook up.
What I find most attractive in a person is
Other than standard beauty, What
characteristics do you like? Being young enough to be my child. Being
old enough to be my parent. Anorexia. Being too stupid to
know that I think you are. A huge bulge in the pants (In the wallet
area). Being able to love me even though I am between jobs again. A
willingness to get naked with me.
What I find least attractive in a person is
What one characteristic can you stand
the least? An overabundance of body hair. Being attracted
to me. A beer gut. Frequent crying fits. Being right
all the time. An unrelenting stench. The parents.
What I am looking for
Why do you really need a mate? Person
to complete my dream of the perfect 1950s family. Partner for social
and family outings to hide the fact that I am frigid/gay/pathetic. Person
to fill the void left over from my last dysfunctional relationship. Receiving
oral sex without the need to reciprocate. Someone to pull me from
my abyss of depressive loneliness. Being single isn't normal. I
must be normal. Smitten ass-kisser to boost my ego. Partner
to help work though list of sexual fantasies. It's green and kind'a
papery.
What I have to offer
What is your best quality as a partner? I
am desperate and have no self-esteem so I'll do whatever you say! I
have a good job at the shoe store. I am hot. You're friends will
be so jealous. (Until I sleep with them.) The use of my genitals. Not
much, but I'm as good as YOU'LL ever get. I can make you laugh when
I take my clothes off. I am rich. Hold on, I may as well go to the
strip club . . . Someone wanted to date me once. I must have something
to offer . . . I will love you so much that I will dominate every
part of your life!
